Ashes to Zombies and everything in between
Cricinfo runs through the A-Z of 2006
Andrew Miller
03-Jan-2007
2006 was another year filled with excitement, intrigue, controversy and records in international cricket. Here Cricinfo runs through the alphabet of the past 12 months and finds stories ranging from drugs, to effigies, to umpires.
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Or Anticlimax, as it turned out. Sequels invariably suck, and this one was no exception. The Australian fans turned out in their droves, desperate to witness a re-run of last year's classic. Instead they witnessed a re-run of every other England visit of the past 16 years. But at least they had vengeance to keep them satisfied.
B is for Boot camp
The beginning of the end for England's Ashes prospects, not that Shane Warne quite saw it that way. "I think it is one of John Buchanan's wonderful, mastermind things that keeps everyone stumped," he said, with more than a hint of sarcasm. Warne and his team-mates were packed off, I'm a Celebrity-style, to the Queensland jungle to where they were referred to as numbers, not names, and made to lug full jerry-cans on 20km hikes. Still, it all paid off in the end, I suppose.
The beginning of the end for England's Ashes prospects, not that Shane Warne quite saw it that way. "I think it is one of John Buchanan's wonderful, mastermind things that keeps everyone stumped," he said, with more than a hint of sarcasm. Warne and his team-mates were packed off, I'm a Celebrity-style, to the Queensland jungle to where they were referred to as numbers, not names, and made to lug full jerry-cans on 20km hikes. Still, it all paid off in the end, I suppose.
C is for Chittagong
The venue for the most flabbergasting performance of the year, bar none. The only shame about Jason Gillespie's astonishing unbeaten Test double-century against Bangladesh - on his 31st birthday to boot - is that his world-beating mullet wasn't around to share the moment. It had already got the chop, as Gillespie himself did immediately after the match. He has since embarked on a successful second career as a pub-quiz question.
The venue for the most flabbergasting performance of the year, bar none. The only shame about Jason Gillespie's astonishing unbeaten Test double-century against Bangladesh - on his 31st birthday to boot - is that his world-beating mullet wasn't around to share the moment. It had already got the chop, as Gillespie himself did immediately after the match. He has since embarked on a successful second career as a pub-quiz question.
D is for Dad's Army
He may be England's unofficial cheerleader, but this was not one of Ian Botham's cleverest jibes. "They are just a bunch of colonial geriatrics," he told The News of the World. "I want to hear England saying how good they are and how piss poor the Dad's Army of Aussies are." Whoops.
He may be England's unofficial cheerleader, but this was not one of Ian Botham's cleverest jibes. "They are just a bunch of colonial geriatrics," he told The News of the World. "I want to hear England saying how good they are and how piss poor the Dad's Army of Aussies are." Whoops.
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The ultimate guide to what's hot and what's not. If your image wasn't hoisted onto the shoulders of angry mobs, set alight, and paraded through the streets of Lahore, Kolkata or Varanasi, then you simply weren't newsworthy enough. Congratulations then to Darrell Hair, Greg Chappell and Ricky Ponting, the mob's men of the year. And a special mention to Damien "The Donkey" Martyn.
F is for Flintoff
AKA the Fallen. Poor old Freddie didn't have a good year. Ankle surgery, poor form, an Ashes hammering to remove the gloss of 2005. Mumbai aside, he discovered - like Ian Botham before him - that the England captaincy isn't very conducive to allround heroics.
AKA the Fallen. Poor old Freddie didn't have a good year. Ankle surgery, poor form, an Ashes hammering to remove the gloss of 2005. Mumbai aside, he discovered - like Ian Botham before him - that the England captaincy isn't very conducive to allround heroics.
G is for Ghosts
... of captains past. Michael Vaughan has been hanging around Australia like the spectre at the feast, Sourav Ganguly has been embarrassing his obituarists in South Africa. Both England and India would benefit if their former captains moved along quietly and let the next generation get on with it, but that's not exactly in the nature of either man.
... of captains past. Michael Vaughan has been hanging around Australia like the spectre at the feast, Sourav Ganguly has been embarrassing his obituarists in South Africa. Both England and India would benefit if their former captains moved along quietly and let the next generation get on with it, but that's not exactly in the nature of either man.
H is for Hair
The man who split the cricket world asunder with his pig-headed performance at The Oval. Never mind the rights and wrongs of that infamous five-run penalty or Pakistan's subsequent protest. It was the absurd inevitability of the whole episode that still rankles. You could just sense that Hair, a man with "previous" where subcontinental teams are concerned, was itching to cause a scene ... and he amply succeeded.
The man who split the cricket world asunder with his pig-headed performance at The Oval. Never mind the rights and wrongs of that infamous five-run penalty or Pakistan's subsequent protest. It was the absurd inevitability of the whole episode that still rankles. You could just sense that Hair, a man with "previous" where subcontinental teams are concerned, was itching to cause a scene ... and he amply succeeded.
I is for Inzamam-ul-Haq
A moderately eventful 12 months for Pakistan's man-mountain of a captain. Comedy dismissals, forfeited Tests, diplomatic stand-offs, seven-match suspensions. Like cricket's Forrest Gump, Inzy seemed to have been the bewildered focus of every major event last year. Life wasn't quite a box of chocolates for his team, though.
A moderately eventful 12 months for Pakistan's man-mountain of a captain. Comedy dismissals, forfeited Tests, diplomatic stand-offs, seven-match suspensions. Like cricket's Forrest Gump, Inzy seemed to have been the bewildered focus of every major event last year. Life wasn't quite a box of chocolates for his team, though.
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J is for Johannesburg
A glorious freak of a performance, or a glimpse of the future of one-day
cricket? The pitch was pristine and the bowlers were cannon fodder, not
least Mick Lewis (10-0-113-0) who joined Gillespie in the pub-quiz stakes,
but the entertainment was unstinting. Australia made 434 ... and lost. By one
wicket. With one ball to spare. A disbelieving Bullring pinched themselves
with every six.
K is for KP
No absurd hairstyles. KP's weekly appearance in Heat magazine had been secured by his celebrity engagement to Liberty X's Jessica Taylor. His daily appearances on the back pages, meanwhile, were secured by another series of colossal performances. But watch this space. The rumour is that he's less loved by his team-mates than he is by himself. When you see his kit go flying out of the dressing-room window at Sydney this week, you'll know it's official.
No absurd hairstyles. KP's weekly appearance in Heat magazine had been secured by his celebrity engagement to Liberty X's Jessica Taylor. His daily appearances on the back pages, meanwhile, were secured by another series of colossal performances. But watch this space. The rumour is that he's less loved by his team-mates than he is by himself. When you see his kit go flying out of the dressing-room window at Sydney this week, you'll know it's official.
L is for Lalit Modi
Rampant commercialisation was the story of India's year, and Modi was a man who would build a block of flats on the site of the Lord's pavilion if he thought the BCCI logo could be weaved into the architect's plans. Come back Jagmohan Dalmiya, all is forgiven!
Rampant commercialisation was the story of India's year, and Modi was a man who would build a block of flats on the site of the Lord's pavilion if he thought the BCCI logo could be weaved into the architect's plans. Come back Jagmohan Dalmiya, all is forgiven!
M is for Monty
The new darling of English cricket saw it all last year. He was lauded and lampooned, showered with accolades and snubbed by his own coach. The BBC Sports Personality crown just eluded his grasp, Beard of the Year did not, but amid all the triumphs and tribulations, the one thing that shone through was his devout professionalism. Never mind his 40 wickets in the year, his proudest achievement was his promotion to No. 10 in England's batting order.
The new darling of English cricket saw it all last year. He was lauded and lampooned, showered with accolades and snubbed by his own coach. The BBC Sports Personality crown just eluded his grasp, Beard of the Year did not, but amid all the triumphs and tribulations, the one thing that shone through was his devout professionalism. Never mind his 40 wickets in the year, his proudest achievement was his promotion to No. 10 in England's batting order.
N is for Nandrolone
Cricket always thought it was too grand to get involved in such grubby issues as steroid abuse, but then along came the incredible ego of Shoaib Akhtar to disabuse the naïve of such a notion. He and the less worldly-wise Mohammad Asif were busted for using the muscle-booster, Nandrolone, and banned for two years and a year respectively. But then, inevitably, they got off on appeal, and a murky business got even murkier.
Cricket always thought it was too grand to get involved in such grubby issues as steroid abuse, but then along came the incredible ego of Shoaib Akhtar to disabuse the naïve of such a notion. He and the less worldly-wise Mohammad Asif were busted for using the muscle-booster, Nandrolone, and banned for two years and a year respectively. But then, inevitably, they got off on appeal, and a murky business got even murkier.
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O is for Ovalgate
The first Test forfeiture in cricket's 129-year history was a schemozzle from start to finish. The five-run penalty for alleged ball-tampering, the impromptu post-tea protest from the Pakistanis, the brief flirtation with a resumption, the refusal of Hair and Billy Doctrove to play ball, the singular lack of information being imparted to the crowd. At 10.30pm, almost six hours and a thousand meetings later, England were awarded the most hollow victory of all time.
The first Test forfeiture in cricket's 129-year history was a schemozzle from start to finish. The five-run penalty for alleged ball-tampering, the impromptu post-tea protest from the Pakistanis, the brief flirtation with a resumption, the refusal of Hair and Billy Doctrove to play ball, the singular lack of information being imparted to the crowd. At 10.30pm, almost six hours and a thousand meetings later, England were awarded the most hollow victory of all time.
P is for Ponting
Or "Possessed", for that is what Australia's captain has been in his bid to right the wrongs of 2005. That summer, he was as tactically mobile as a Dalek facing Doctor Who; this winter, he's been as focussed as England have been flaccid - his furious 196 at the Gabba a case in point. And it's not just been the Ashes - his burning will scorched all opposition all year long; 10 Tests, seven hundreds, nothing less than victory on each occasion.
Or "Possessed", for that is what Australia's captain has been in his bid to right the wrongs of 2005. That summer, he was as tactically mobile as a Dalek facing Doctor Who; this winter, he's been as focussed as England have been flaccid - his furious 196 at the Gabba a case in point. And it's not just been the Ashes - his burning will scorched all opposition all year long; 10 Tests, seven hundreds, nothing less than victory on each occasion.
R is for Retirements
Of which there were several, most of them high-profile and Australian. R is also for Ramprakash, who finally demonstrated he can cut it on the big stage by inheriting Darren Gough's crown in the BBC's celebrity ballroom-dancing caper, "Strictly Come Dancing".
Of which there were several, most of them high-profile and Australian. R is also for Ramprakash, who finally demonstrated he can cut it on the big stage by inheriting Darren Gough's crown in the BBC's celebrity ballroom-dancing caper, "Strictly Come Dancing".
S is for Stress-related illness
The mystery ailment that has, in all probability, brought Marcus Trescothick's international career to a sadly premature end. He left the tour of India in February in tears, beneath an ECB smokescreen of incredible impenetrability, and has not been the same since. The threat of "burn-out" was voiced on numerous occasions in an over-loaded year, and Trescothick, one of the game's hardest-working and most likeable characters, became its most high-profile victim.
The mystery ailment that has, in all probability, brought Marcus Trescothick's international career to a sadly premature end. He left the tour of India in February in tears, beneath an ECB smokescreen of incredible impenetrability, and has not been the same since. The threat of "burn-out" was voiced on numerous occasions in an over-loaded year, and Trescothick, one of the game's hardest-working and most likeable characters, became its most high-profile victim.
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"The terrorist has got another wicket" was Dean Jones's heroically dim remark, shortly after Kumar Sangakkara had been caught by South Africa's bearded Muslim, Hashim Amla, during the second Test in Colombo. Jones was sacked by Ten Sports almost before the utterance had passed his lips, but within the month he was back, denying he'd ever erred. "Amla got the catch, Nicky Boje was the bowler," he wibbled. "I'll leave it up to you to work out who I was referring to." Nice one. Except it had been Pollock bowling at the time.
U is for Urn
After years of Aussie indignation that their Ashes urn was still holed up in the museum at Lord's, the MCC finally arranged for a special one-off trip Down Under. "Urn, Ashes Mr" arrived in Sydney on October 17, having flown business class from London, strapped into its very own seat. The tour could have been the ultimate insult, given that England were, for once, the holders, but it ended up as the ultimate incentive for victory. "It's clearly too fragile to fly home," said Ricky Ponting after sealing the series in Perth.
After years of Aussie indignation that their Ashes urn was still holed up in the museum at Lord's, the MCC finally arranged for a special one-off trip Down Under. "Urn, Ashes Mr" arrived in Sydney on October 17, having flown business class from London, strapped into its very own seat. The tour could have been the ultimate insult, given that England were, for once, the holders, but it ended up as the ultimate incentive for victory. "It's clearly too fragile to fly home," said Ricky Ponting after sealing the series in Perth.
V is for Vermeulen
A sad footnote in the wider decline of Zimbabwean cricket. When the country's cricket academy was burned to the ground in October, the finger of suspicion soon pointed at the troubled figure of Mark Vermeulen, a man who earlier in the month had been found at the gates of Robert Mugabe's palace in Harare, demanding to speak to the president, in spite of the fact that people had been shot for less. In September 2005, he was banned from Lancashire club cricket after a raging altercation with a member of the crowd, and a subsequent on-pitch punch-up.
A sad footnote in the wider decline of Zimbabwean cricket. When the country's cricket academy was burned to the ground in October, the finger of suspicion soon pointed at the troubled figure of Mark Vermeulen, a man who earlier in the month had been found at the gates of Robert Mugabe's palace in Harare, demanding to speak to the president, in spite of the fact that people had been shot for less. In September 2005, he was banned from Lancashire club cricket after a raging altercation with a member of the crowd, and a subsequent on-pitch punch-up.
W is for Warne
Even the great man himself seemed pretty dumbfounded at the MCG last week. "I don't know who's writing my scripts, but they are pretty good," he remarked, after grabbing five first-innings wickets, including his landmark 700th, on the first day of his final Test in front of his adoring home crowd. He went on to take seven in the match, as well as a valedictory 40 not out, to set up the prospect of a farewell Ashes whitewash. What a performer.
Even the great man himself seemed pretty dumbfounded at the MCG last week. "I don't know who's writing my scripts, but they are pretty good," he remarked, after grabbing five first-innings wickets, including his landmark 700th, on the first day of his final Test in front of his adoring home crowd. He went on to take seven in the match, as well as a valedictory 40 not out, to set up the prospect of a farewell Ashes whitewash. What a performer.
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Which is what Graeme Smith was forced to do moments before the toss in November's third ODI against India at Cape Town. As he walked down the pavilion steps, he was met by Haroon Lorgat, the convenor of South Africa's selectors, who insisted that Andre Nel was not fit to play and that Andrew Hall should replace him. Smith vented his opinions in no uncertain terms, before kneeling on an adjacent pitch and making the necessary adjustments. Minutes later, still steaming with indignation, he was dismissed second ball for a duck.
Y is for Mohammad Yousuf
In 2006, the man formerly known as Yousuf Youhana gave a new meaning to conversion rate. He abandoned the underachieving wastefulness that had defined the first seven years of his career, embraced Islam and all the disciplines that are inherent in it, and clattered his way to a world-record 1788 runs in the year, including nine hundreds in 11 matches. Coincidence? I don't suppose he thinks so.
In 2006, the man formerly known as Yousuf Youhana gave a new meaning to conversion rate. He abandoned the underachieving wastefulness that had defined the first seven years of his career, embraced Islam and all the disciplines that are inherent in it, and clattered his way to a world-record 1788 runs in the year, including nine hundreds in 11 matches. Coincidence? I don't suppose he thinks so.
Z is for Zombies
Those poor fools who turned their winters upside-down, hoping to watch England retain the Ashes Down Under in a series so exhilarating that 2005 resembled a seven-match ODI series between USA and Zimbabwe. Like the team, most fans had drifted out of contention before lunch on the first day at the Gabba.
Those poor fools who turned their winters upside-down, hoping to watch England retain the Ashes Down Under in a series so exhilarating that 2005 resembled a seven-match ODI series between USA and Zimbabwe. Like the team, most fans had drifted out of contention before lunch on the first day at the Gabba.
Are there other incidents that we have missed out? Tell us what you would include.
Andrew Miller is UK editor of Cricinfo